LoVe SuCkS
by xScreamingFromBehindTheVeilx
Summary: Have you ever fallen in love with your best friend? Many people have, and I, Kendall Knight, am no exception.And no, this is not the fairytale were they exchange feelings and kiss and ride off into the sunset on a horse. This is the one without a happy ending.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hey Guys! .3. / I know I'm supposed to be working on H.E.A. and T.W.A.I. but I had a BURST of inspiration and thought 'QUICK, before it dies!' SO here we are.**_

_**Preface**_

Have you ever fallen in love with your best friend? Many people have, and I, Kendall Knight, am no exception. Now I know what you're thinking, 'Ok, big deal. He likes Camille right? Jo? Maybe Lucy…' They are, in order, too crazy, too bitchy and just NO. And no, this is not the fairytale were they exchange feelings and kiss and ride off into the sunset on a horse. This is the one without a happy ending. The one where the best friend sits back and watches as their friend falls in love with another. The one where no one knows that every time their together it breaks the best friends heart a little more. This is the one where everyone else gets their happy ending. So I sit here doing just that. I put on the smile that I don't believe in, while inside I feel like screaming. But I don't. I sit in my place, being quiet, and watching as the love of my life kisses the love of _**his**_. That's another thing. My best friend's a guy. It's not a fear of if he is gay, he just doesn't love me. As his lips leave the other's I hear a quiet, "I love you Carlos" come from them, and his smooth tenor voice giving me goose bumps. "Hey Carlos! Come help me find my lucky comb!" James shouts from upstairs. The small Latino rolls his eyes and heads up the stairs. _**He**_ picks up a book and starts reading again. "Hey Kindle," I look up at the sound of his southern accent. "Hand me my glasses would ya?" I nod, not trusting my voice at the time, and hand him the desired object. "Thanks" I smile in return and get up and head to my room. I close, lock the door and pull up my sleeves. The pale flesh was decorated in deep red cuts in all stages of healing. My attention was brought to the biggest and deepest. L+K encircled in a big heart. I broke down, and cried silently.

Yes.

_I, Kendall Knight, was in love with my best friend._

_Logan Mitchell._

_**Three reviews and I'll continue it. AND if you can find the Mayday Parade lyric in this chapter I'll mention you in the next author note. Sorry it's so short. :/**_

_**xScreaming From Behind The Veilx**_


	2. Chapter 1: I will get over him

_**A/N: WOW! I didn't expect as many reviews as I got. Thanks to all who did. I really appreciate it. No one guessed the Mayday Parade reference. It was when Kendall says 'I put on the smile that I don't believe in, while inside I feel like screaming' It's from Bruised and Scarred. :D AND, WE GO ON! .3. /**_

_**Chapter 1**_

I sat in the floor of my bedroom, the tears still silently dripping down my face. '_Why couldn't I just fall in love with anyone else' _I slowly got out of the floor and walked over to my bed. I dug underneath it and found an old _Nike_ shoebox. After removing the lid, I removed some things I wasn't proud of. I took out a pocket knife, a lighter, a blackened spoon, a pack of razor blades, and my biggest disappointment to myself; a couple feet of rope. I felt so weak, knowing that a simple crush had driven me to this. A simple heartbreak had driven me to suicidal thoughts. I picked up the pocket knife and popped it open. The tears poured faster as I dragged the blade across the scarred skin of my wrist. I continued until I grew dizzy, adding five more to my gruesome 'collection'. I put everything back, throwing the rope in without looking when I came to it, and rehid the box before I went to the bathroom. I stripped down and turned the shower up all the way. I stepped in the path of the scalding water, letting out a small hiss of pain as it hit my skin. I watched as the clear water turned pink as it washed down the drain. I quickly finished and put on a long sleeved grey shirt, and a pair of _short_ black shorts. I dressed a bit on the gayer side when I was in the apartment, but I know that no one else cared. I picked up my iPod and plugged the headphones in my ears. I played '_Never Surrender'_ by Skillet on repeat. I put it in my pocket and walked into the living room with my arms wrapped around myself.

_Do you know what it's like when,_

_You're scared to see yourself?_

_Do you know what it's like when,_

_You wish you were someone else? _

I curled up on the couch next to James. He looked comfortable in his black wife beater, grey sweats, and a black bandanna keeping his brown hair from his eyes. He was the only one who knew I liked Logan, just not what it had driven me to. "Hey little brother." He said with a smile. He took a quick look around before wiping the tear tracks from my face. "Logan gettin to ya again, huh?" I nodded, and he opened his arms for a hug. I fell into them and he held me tight. I felt safe with James; he was like an older brother. I fisted my hands in his wife beater and whispered, "It hurts Jamie." He sighed and ran a hand through my blonde hair relaxingly. "I know Kendy. I know" Of course he knew. He was in love with Carlos. The only difference was that Carlos and James had gone out before and Carlos dumped James…for Logan. I took out my iPod and changed the song to _'Invisible' _by Skylar Grey. James took it from me, ignoring my 'Hey!' retorting with his own, "You keep listening to depressing music, you're gonna stay depressed." He got up going over to his iPod dock and plugging his own in. He played '_Love me Love me' _and pulled me to my feet and danced me around the room. I giggled, and blushed pink when James laughed, only succeeding to make him laugh harder. The taller boy went over to the dock and turned it even louder and changed the song to _'Show me'_ and we kept dancing and laughing until we heard someone clear their throat. We turned quickly to see Carlos and Logan looking not so happy. "Do either of you know what time it is?!" Logan asked anger ever present in his face. I looked up at James who was looking down at me. We both shrugged in sync before asking again in sync, "No, what time is it?" Carlos said, sounding sleepier than angry, "2:30 guys. You guys have been *yawn* in here for hours!" James and my eyes widened. "Sorry guys." I started. "Yea we just got caught up in having fun, and dancing, we didn't think about everyone else. Sorry." James finished. Logan's face didn't change he just said, "Get. To. Bed. NOW." pointing in the direction of mine and James rooms. We never moved so fast in my life before, James right on my tail. When we got to our rooms, I asked "Jay? Can I stay with you tonight?" I was afraid to sleep in my room alone when I had what I labeled a Logan-breakdown. Who knows what I would convince myself of? My big brother smiled sadly, but nodded. I followed him in and stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. James got in bed and held the blanket up inviting me over. "Kendy you're not a horse, you don't sleep standing up. Come on over." I hurried over and snuggled in to him. He wrapped an arm around me. I sighed, and soon sleep took me captive.

I woke to a loud scream. I snapped forward, and I took me a minute to realize the scream was coming from me. Suddenly I heard 2 pairs of footsteps, and then I was being hugged. I stopped my screaming and noticed there were tears cascading down my face. I tried to wipe them away before anyone could see. Then I realized that the guys had been talking to me. They all kept asking me if I was ok, and I dismissed it all with a nod of my head. I climbed out of James bed, and made my way over to my room, ignoring their calls of coming back. I locked the door, still ignoring them. I leaned against the door and slid down until I was sitting at the base of it. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on the cool wood of the door. I watched as my dream went back through my mind. Being stuck to the chair watching as Carlos took what I wanted. Watching how Logan and Carlos started lovingly at each other each before their lips met each time. Them looking over at me and smirking before they kept on-

**No.**

I would not dwell on my dreams, my nightmares, or my **fears**. I moved from the floor to my bed. I let a few hot tears drip down my face and onto my pillow. This would be the last time I cried myself cry myself to sleep over Logan Mitchell.

_Tomorrow,_

_I start moving on._

_And I __**will**__ get over him._

_**A/N: Like it? Hate it? Love it? Tell me! 3 reviews for next chapter! I'm thinking about having a twist that NONE of ya'll will c coming! ) C ya!**_

_**xScreamingFromBehindTheVeilx **_


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